Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Depression is my Friend

I live with depression.

I'm not saying this to garner sympathy, or to make anyone uncomfortable, I am purely stating a fact. I have suffered, off and on, since third grade. I used to cry at school, for no other reason than I didn't know what was wrong, but something was, I just couldn't get it out. I've talked to counselors. Nothing, except medication, seems to help. I dislike my medication - the side affects are gross.

When I am depressed, I am not myself. I do things that I think are normal, and they aren't. Not even close. And then, I get more depressed. It's an ugly, vicious circle, and the adversary and I tumble, a lot.

Since joining the church, he doesn't win as often. I have to make sure we read scriptures and say prayers every night. I read scriptures on my lunch break at work. I pray constantly, and it is still not enough sometimes. I often feel trapped in my head. It is hard and lonely, and it is often a road I won't let anyone share with me, because I don't know HOW to ask for help and I don't want to be a burden, or a project.

There is an article in the September/October LDS Living that lists things NOT to say to a depressed loved one.

One of the suggestions is "Don't say: 'Let
me know if there's something I can do to help.' Instead try: 'What can I do to help? Anything at all.'" The section goes on to say that "when someone feels like a crazy person, it's hard to ask for help ...because they don't really know what they need; they just know they're not okay."

 I DON'T know what I need, but, Heavenly Father does. He knows how to help me. He knows how to remind me I'm not alone. Because of the Atonement, I can put my faith in the Savior, and I can find the strength to do what I need. I can call on friends who might not know how to help me, but they will listen to me and love me and pray for me, because sometimes, that's all anyone can do.

Friday, December 30, 2011


So it is a little lat but MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, August 21, 2011


 standing in the obervitory
 standing in front of the doers of the temple
I love this temple.


I loved to be with my cousins in AZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

young womens camp

It is my first time going to young womens camp and I am nervous. I knit my very first wash cloth and now I am working on a bag that you can take in to the shower. It will hold my shampoo, conditioner, soap and my face cleaner.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

I've Been Hacked...

Okay, by my daughter.  I have decided to let Emma post on the blog.  Stay tuned for more!


Both railie and emma  are in SF with  there grandma. There baby cozen.